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the 12 days of kitschmas
Atheists awake! Salute the hapless morn, wherein the Saviour of the World wasn't born!
Welcome to Zilchmas 2013, our first-ever list of the Top 12 gifts for atheists.
You won't need to ask "What Would Dawkins Buy?" after you've browsed these goodies for the godless!
12th Day: Secular Wrap
secular wrapping paper
For years we've rejoiced at those absurdly long names for churches. The Heritage New Life Restoration Fire Baptized Holiness Church of God of the Americans has almost been outdone by the Bethlehem Primitive Baptist Church of the Absolute Predestinarian Faith and Order.

Now our friends the secularists are getting in on the act: offering wrapping paper with an alternative name for the holiday season so long that it woos and charms, engages in sustained foreplay, completes the act joyously then takes a long, hard drag on a post-coital cigarette before you've even read to the end.

$3.99 – buy here!

Vouchsafed unto us by the Ship's Foolwise Unperson from the Orbitofrontal Cortex, Doublethink

The 12 Days of Zilchmas
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ist Day: Festivus Pole
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