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the 12 days of kitschmas
Atheists awake! Salute the hapless morn, wherein the Saviour of the World wasn't born!
Welcome to Zilchmas 2013, our first-ever list of the Top 12 gifts for Atheists.
You won't need to ask "What Would Dawkins Buy?" after you've browsed these goodies for the godless!
4th Day: Nothing
holy family tea bags
From the bones of dear, departed saints to the foreskin of Christ himself (said to be the only part of his body left on earth), thousands of churches revere holy relics – claiming they have mystical, healing powers. But what of today's secularist? How can he get in on the act? If fragments of the old rugged cross have no meaning, what can he cling to?

That's right. And the beauty of it all is that when you buy nothing "for the person who has everything", he'll have the genuine article. No need to trace this back through the grim, superstitious Dark Ages. No need for the carry on of carbon dating.

"Open the pack and be enthralled when nothing happens," blurbs the packaging. "Soon you'll discover that nothing really is so much better than something."

At £5.40, mind, even nothing costs something – buy here!

Thanks for nothing, Doublethink

The 12 Days of Zilchmas
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Virtue Doll
5th Day: Virtue Doll
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