homepage
  roll on christmas  
about the ship sign up for our newsletter support the ship
community the mystery worshipper gadgets for god caption competition foolishness features ship stuff
features home columnists archive
 
features and projects
The story so far...
You're currently on our features and projects pages, with material ranging from the satirical to the theological. For more features, click here.
 
 
Is Obama, like, the Antichrist?
The Christian nutjob community is humming with biblical and numerical proofs that Barack Obama is, in fact, the long-awaited Antichrist. As one blogger points out, "He was born the year sodomy was decriminalized," so fair enough, then. Steve Tomkins checks out the blogs and forums where the choice before America now is for McCain... or the Devil.
Super primaries and campaign momentum are all very well, but you know you've really made it as a political force to be reckoned with when your opponents think you're the Antichrist. As an increasing number of Americans apparently do when it comes to Barack Obama.

A blog by the name of Barack Obama The Antichrist? has charted the allegedly evil one's progress since August 2007. Sites like this are responsible for half of all question marks on the internet, so that when challenged the author can say, "Well, I was only asking."

This blogger's answer is a definite yes, though. The main evidence for the damnation is that Obama is surprisingly popular, but there's more concrete proof. On the very day Obama became frontrunner in the election, we are told, the statue of Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro was struck by lightning. (Again.)

As if that left any room for doubt, Obama is left-handed, and "the Bible says that the Devil is left handed?" Note the all-important question mark, meaning that the Bible actually makes a few snooty references to the left.

The anonymous blogger isn't alone. For a start, 14,000 visitors have taken his (call me sexist, but what other sex is he going to be?) poll. Over 70 per cent agree Obama is or may be the Antichrist.

Meanwhile Let The Trumpet Sound proves that Obama is the Antichrist by translating his name into English, then letter by letter into Greek, and adding them up. Can you guess what number they come to?

At Republicans for Fair Media, the Executive Director Daniel T Zanoza, is concerned about Obama's big promises and devilish charisma: "I have heard of women swooning just by being in Obama's presence." His first column on the subject decided that on balance he's probably not the Beast of Revelation, but after recent "God-like" speeches, he's not so sure.

Over on Yahoo! Answers, Jumanji asks the same old question, with a rather delightful new answer: "Nostradamus prophesized the name of the antichrist is 'Mabus.' If you write obama+bush, you end up with obamabush. Do you spot 'mabus' in the middle? Bingo."

At abovetopsecret.com, SteveR lists reasons why Barack Obama will lead the world to war against Jesus, including "Antichrist... is the black sheep". Which is surely letting him off a bit lightly.

Various emails have been doing the nutty rounds, like this one, which steps up the question mark count to two in a sentence: "According to The Book of Revelations the anti-Christ is: The anti-Christ will be a man, in his 40s, of MUSLIM descent, who will deceive the nations with persuasive language... Is it OBAMA??" Considering how much weirdness there really is in the Book of Revelation, it's a pretty definite sign that you're a crazy if you have to make up more.

But it's when you go trawling through message boards and blog comments – fear not reader, we've been down there so you don't have to – that you get the real apocalyptic dirt on Obama.

At Topix.com, for example, Yahaim offers nine different proofs, each one of them pretty unanswerable in its own right. They cover the whole gamut from mad to stupid, ranging from "Antichrist will come mounted on a white Female horse (Obama's mother is white who had 6 African husbands)" to "Obama has said he hates Israel and Jews. Admires Hitler, Osama etc."

On the same site, Brasky of Cape Coral, Florida, notes with impeccable logic: "Obama could very well be the anti-christ, because he was born the year sodomy was decriminalized." He adds: "He is my first choice for anti Christ", which makes the appointment sound rather more democratic than it actually is, I think.

Naturally, posters at anti-christ.com have their own unique insights. "He looks evil," remarks Leila. "He freaks me out. Have you seen his poster. He has the symbol of the devil on it." Coming at the issue from another angle, another poster concludes: "Obama most certainly is the antichrist. Black people are so full of hate and insecurity..."

Another point you might have missed: "The famous apocalyptic phrase 'Abomination of desolation' is an anagram of 'Obama in Sion, tool of end'." Thanks to Kenneth Randolf for that one; the countdown to Armageddon, Richard Whiteley style.

On the Godlike Productions forum, a sensibly anonymous poster points out "Obama hails from Chicago whose zip code is 60606 (do you see the three sixes?)."

Finally, the king of the end times himself, Hal Lindsey, has waded into the apocalyptic hustings. Lindsey's
The Late Great Planet Earth, the USA's bestselling "non-fiction" book of the 1970s, revealed with uncanny accuracy that the Antichrist would lead the USSR, Arabs and a ten-nation EU in the battle of Armageddon against Israel, triggering the return of Christ to rule from Jerusalem – all before the end of the 1980s. So he should know the Antichrist when he sees one.

No, says Lindsey, sorry, but Obama isn't your actual Antichrist. He is a "foretaste" of the dark lord, showing us that "the world is now ready to make his acquaintance". An Anti-John the Baptist, if you will. Which leaves Hal Lindsey sounding almost like the voice of reason. If that isn't a sign of the end times, I don't know what is.

 
barack obama official toy action figure
Get your Barack Obama Official Toy Action Figure from these good folks.
   
 
 
 
follow ship of fools on twitter
buy your ship of fools postcards
sip of fools mugs from your favourite nautical website