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1032: The American Church in London, Tottenham Court Road, London Mystery Worshipper: Hurdy Gurdy. The church: The American Church in London, Whitefield Memorial Church, 79a Tottenham Court Road, London, W1 (map). Denomination: This is an international and interdenominational church. The building: The original building was destroyed during the war, in 1945. The building is set just off the Tottenham Court Road, with steps up into the building. I couldn't see any disabled access, but it may have been around the back. Strangely, there was not an American flag in sight. The church community: The congregation is mainly from the United States, although I spotted two Brits. The church works with the local homeless community by running a soup kitchen several times a week. The neighbourhood: The church is halfway up Tottenham Court Road, a five-minute walk from Oxford Street. This is a good church to visit if you are planning on some afternoon shopping. The cast: The service was led by the resident minister Rev. Dr Stephen Pettenmayer. There was also a musical performed by the church's Youth Choir, led by Joanna Davies. What was the name of the service? Sunday morning worship service, at 11.00am. How full was the building? The building started off almost empty, with less than 40 people in the congregation. But there was a constant stream of latecomers which brought the congregation up to around 150. Did anyone welcome you personally? There were three official welcomers on the door. The first man, outside the main door, was on his mobile for some time so I gave up on him and walked into the building. The second man ignored me completely to say hello to the person walking in behind me. Finally, after hanging around for several minutes, a nice American man said hello, sort of went for my hand but didn't shake it, going for a programme to give me instead. I went into the church hall, but was ignored by everyone in the room. Once the service started, a homeless man entered and sat next to me. He acknowledged my presence and spoke to me later. Was your pew comfortable? No. The floor in the main hall was highly polished wood. The pews weren't secured to the floor and had this annoying habit of skidding backwards whenever you went to sit down. My bum lasted 18 minutes, then I think it left the building, because it went numb! How would you describe the pre-service atmosphere? At first, everything looked promising; the choir was having a rehearsal and sounded good. But once they had finished, everything went silent. A few moments before the service started, a man came to play the organ, but stuck it out for one verse only, which was a disappointment. What were the exact opening words of the service? "Good morning. It's good to see you on this sunny day." What books did the congregation use during the service? Some of the songs were printed in the programme. They also used the Pilgrim Hymnal and the New International Version of the Bible. Mission Praise books were also available, but not used. What musical instruments were played? An organ and a piano. The church also has a 16 voice choir and a youth choir. All the songs we sang were rather old, the newest being the ever popular, "Shine, Jesus, Shine". Did anything distract you? A few things. Firstly, the constant stream of latecomers. Each step they took on the highly polished floor gave out an irritating, squeaking sound – and people were still arriving 33 minutes after the start! Surely if you were going to be that late, you'd stay in bed. Secondly, the homeless man who sat next to me. I could tolerate the bad odour, but when he began coughing up phlegm I started to feel queasy. Finally (and good news for all Trekkies), the guy reading the Bible looked a lot like Mr Spock. Was the worship stiff-upper-lip, happy clappy, or what? While everyone sang in tune, all hands remained firmly in trouser pockets. It irritated me that some of the words to old hymns had been changed. It took a while to figure out, but where God had been called "Father", he was now called "Mother", and all the "He" words had been changed to "God". Exactly how long was the sermon? 8 minutes, but this was due to the youth choir performing a musical during the service. On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher? 8 – He was straight to the point, and came across as someone who really cares for the people and loves his job. In a nutshell, what was the sermon about? The whole service was based on the story of Jonah. The youth choir performed Jonah Man Jazz, which gave me fond memories of my childhood and singing in the school choir. In a nutshell, God did not give up on Jonah, just as God doesn't give up on you. Which part of the service was like being in heaven? The "Word with the children" part of the service. The minister got down on the floor with the children to be on their level and speak to them instead of the whole church. It was good to see someone who wanted to make the wee little ones feel important. And which part was like being in... er... the other place? The hall was freezing (oops! – the other place is hot). At the start of the service all visitors are asked to stand and introduce themselves. This was a highly embarrassing moment, since all the other visitors were over from the States. Thankfully, I wasn't pressed to stand. Another odd moment was the taking of the register. A register was passed along the pew for everyone to sign and tick the reason they were in church. Presumably, this is a security measure. If intercessory prayers were said, what issues were raised? The installation of the Pope, peace in Iraq, justice in Palestine, an end to hunger and AIDS. Not asking for much, really! What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost? In a rush to get out, one woman pushed me back onto the pew. This sent the pew skidding backwards onto the legs of the gentleman in the pew behind. Mr Homeless spoke to me, and asked where I worked and told me he was a church member. He then told me I should go downstairs for a coffee. I said I would and hung around a little longer, determined to get someone else to speak to me. There were still a lot of people hanging around, but sadly no one came over to talk. I went downstairs for coffee and again Mr Homeless greeted me from across the room. Once I had my coffee he came and spoke to me again. He was at one point about five inches from my face and shouting at me. He claimed my employers were a front for MI5 and the CIA. He then said we were full of drug addicts and queers. Then he went into a loud, abusive rant about churches in England and how they are also full of queers. I kept trying to catch the eyes of some of the other members in the room to see if they would come to my rescue, but sadly no one did. How would you describe the after-service coffee? Help yourself to a plastic cup of Nescafé. Sadly, I wasn't able to drink much of the coffee. During Mr Homeless' rant and rave, I was certain he had sprayed into the coffee cup, so I had to throw the whole cup in the bin. There were, however, several types of cake on display, cut into miniature pieces. The young people were raising money for a trip and had made cakes for everyone. How would you feel about making this church your regular (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)? 2 – Although the preacher was enthusiastic, the church members were not! I was also pretty annoyed and angry that they had allowed someone to be so abusive to another person in their church. In their defence, though, perhaps the people who would have stopped this happening were upstairs in the members' meeting which had started soon after the service was over. Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian? Yes, I enjoyed the minister's little chat with the kiddies. I also enjoyed both the choirs and the journey back to my childhood with the Jonah musical. What one thing will you remember about all this in seven days' time? I'm still trying to recover from the verbal abuse I received. One item in the service was a sketch of Jonah going for therapy... I think I might need to take their advice and get some myself! |
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